I am at a stage in my life, where my insecurities are at an all-time high. These insecurities are no longer about my multi-colored braces, tracksuit outfits, or my twinkly Skechers that I wore proudly during my pre-teen years. Instead, these insecurities are fueled by the pressures I feel as a member of Generation Z.
Gen Z individuals are growing up in a technologically-advanced society that lives by the hustle culture. I can vouch for this, since I am constantly busy trying to finish multiple tasks throughout the day all while "living my best life."
I start my mornings off with a run, during which I listen to a podcast about bettering myself. I come home, shower, meditate, and journal about what I am grateful for while eating avocado toast. In the span of two hours, I processed so much information and despite feeling accomplished from my morning routine, I only become more wary about other things I have to accomplish in the present and the future. It is no surprise I feel societal pressures to do "something great" after graduation, since a lot of my peers, including myself, thrive off the mentality to dabble in whatever we can to achieve this envisioned "greatness."
During recent social gatherings I have attended, where the majority consisted of my Millennial friends, who already established their careers, many of them asked about my plans after graduation. I understand this is an easy, small-talk conversation starter, but despite becoming more comfortable to say, "I don't know," I still feel the weight of people's judgement as they purse their lips and nod as if they are saying, "Oh, I see...This young, future graduate does not have their priorities straight."
Because I am an idealist, yet also determined to go after whatever I want, I am extra-sensitive when receiving opinions from others. I already put so much pressure on myself because I am a Capricorn to the core (apparently, this means I am "driven"), a member of Gen Z, and the youngest in my family. All of these things combined result in my identity, which is a fusion of uncertainty and willfulness. Therefore, I constantly question every move in my life because I want to achieve this great narrative I have formulated in my mind.
So, when I hear people's opinions, whether they are from my friends or strangers, I take them close to heart because I value living a life I have dreamt of. I like listening to individuals' success stories about how they got from steps a, b, and c in their lives. However, I have learned this is also a move towards self-deprecating behavior because I then compare myself to others.
I begin to question my own pursuits and dreams. Questions, like, "am I on the right track?" arise as I learn the ways in which others achieved their goals. Even worse, I absorb their assumptions about my life choices as reality and I take on their opinions on what I should be doing with my life.
In my conversations with my friends and others, I noticed people for some odd reason, like to assume others' sense of self and then they like to push their opinions on what these individuals should do with their lives. I do not have an answer as to why, but I think it is because a lot of these people, are Millennials, who do not see the value the younger generation upholds in testing limits and stretching their abilities.
Because I get a lot of Millennials' opinions thrown at me, I fall into a pit of doubt as I dwell on how they are more experienced than me, which my brain magically registers as a sign that I should do exactly what they did to get to where they are.
When I fall into this dark hole, I ask myself, "Does this person matter?" Don't get me wrong, sometimes it is a good thing to listen to others' opinions, especially if you are truly lost. However, remember to listen to those that truly matter to you -- the ones that you trust and the ones that encourage you to be the best you can be.
As others push their own agenda on me, the scary, yet exciting reality becomes clear to me. I already know deep down inside that I do not want to do the things these other people did. I want to jump from career to career, I want to take on as many opportunities as I can to hopefully end up somewhere where I can be happy for however long I can.
It can be hard, but realize that it is okay to acknowledge one's opinion on how they think you should spend your time, but then re-center yourself on what you truly want. After all, it is your own narrative to paint, not someone else's.
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